We headed off to La Torta 310 (formerly Cafe Cardamom, formerly something else no one ever went to). We had coffee. We had a ham and cheese croissant. We had another coffee. I tell you, Pip was infinetly more impressed than I was.
La Torta is extremely dog friendly. Pip got not one, but two dog biscuits. The courtyard area if perfect for pooches: large, secluded and sunny.
After briefly considering the breakfast menu (that I couldn't really order off anyway because the chef was out making a wholesale delivery and wouldn't be back for half an hour) I agreed with Pip that a ham and cheese croissant was infinetly the safest option.
The menu was a typographical nightmare. Perhaps someone behind the scenes thinks using randomly placed bold type is pleasing on the eye, but they are very wrong. Together with more commas, colons and exclamation marks for a whole restaurant strip (the word Yummy!! does not belong on a menu) I was suitably frightened.
This is Pip. Pip likes anything people eat, walks, sleeping under the blankets and leaving white hairs on my black clothes. Pip dislikes flies, rain and guide dogs.
My first latte was lukewarm and flavorless. Distinctly below average. The second was a slight improvement. I'd put this lack of quality down to the friendly, yet largely untrained waitstaff. Okay, I don't really know how untrained they are. I'm making an assumption. But I think the likely hood of any member of staff taking on the job title of "barista" in this venue would be slight.
Dirty cutlery anyone?
La Torta is a bakery, so most menu items are made on-site. The above croissant was light and fluffy, just about perfect I'd say. It's just a shame that it was cold in the middle, containing too much cheese and giving me flash-backs to the kind of mass-produced cheddar found in hospitals and high school canteens. My cutlery was also covered in smudged fingerprints, clearly having been handled by a number of people (or one very greasy person) before it reached the plate.
We decided to clear off then the live accoustic music started. It was all a bit much for me at 9am on a Saturday morning. Thank goodness I didn't have a hangover or the very noisy and offensively bold manageress would have driven me completly mental, as good as her intentions were.
La Torta 310
310 Elisabeth St
(03) 6234 3112Closed Sundays